Glimpse of a pre-COVID world

ladies in the library

I’ve been preaching positivity in 2020 because it’s been proven that the ability to adapt is a key component of happiness. And if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that adaptation is necessary. I don’t need to go down the litany of examples of how things have changed. We can all feel it.

I’ve been relatively quiet about the fact that 2020 has been a good year for me. I’m mindful of the people who have contracted COVID-19, including my own friends and family. There have been over a million deaths around the world. Almost a quarter of the fatalities have been in America alone, surpassing all other countries and showing no signs of slowing down.

wine tasting

For all the quality time I’ve had with my family, all the outdoor adventures and gobbling up everything in my Netflix queue, the old world started haunting me. I had embraced the fact that most of my favorite places were closed and that traveling would have to wait, but that’s when I believed people would follow CDC guidelines and squash this thing, like so many countries have been doing. I thought that like me, people couldn’t wait to escape the summer heat in a dark movie theater, or jump on a plane to explore a place they’s never seen. Come Ocober, I’m here thinking, “No? Just me?”

Make no mistake, I’m still out and about. I don’t live in fear because I follow CDC guidelines. But working from home while my son is home-schooling is tough. Even with a teacher for a husband. Even though he’s suportive and very involved. It’s just not ideal.

girls in a heated pool

I also miss my friends. I miss spas. I miss going to spas with my friends, which explains these photos. In January, when we were just beginning to hear whisperings of the coronavirus in the news, my friends and I luxuriated in a plush resort in Virginia. There was a steaming, heated pool that was reminiscent of the Blue Lagoon in Reykjkavic. There were elaborate dinners, Chamagne toasts and beauty treatments.

archery

But also? My friend Sarah signed us up for archery and axe throwing because, well, you’d just have to know her. She once said that she liked camping because it’s a “shock to your senses” – as if that’s ever a positive. One of the things that made this spa trip special, was that she invited two other girls that I hadn’t met. Having moved to Richmond from Los Angeles a few years ago, I relish meeting new people. The more I meet, the better I’m able to curate a nice social circle. It’s hard to put in the work when you’re a working mother with some serious hobbies. The girls were sweet, and we clicked as if we were in junior high. Coronavirus swept in soon after, putting a halt to new friendships. There’s just a placeholder for now, in the form of social media.

Even friends I’ve had for decades are circling a small orbit in a galaxy, far far away. Before coronavirus, I just called it the suburbs. So, I’m mourning the milestones I didn’t celebrate with them. I’m mourning that trip to Charleston and Savannah that our family never took. I’m mourning the new friends I haven’t yet gotten to know . I’m mourning Obama. I’m mourning eucalyptus steam rooms and deep tissue massages.

I look back on that weekend in January, where the four of us weren’t moms, or wives, or attorneys or writers. We were women. Innocently jumping on luggage carts and taking ridiculous photos. Laughing the way you do before you realize that a gobal pandemic is going to sweep in and change the world as we know it.

These photos are a reminder that eventually, things will get better. You have photos like this too. Take a good look, and feel free to mourn with me. But never lose sight of the fact that these photos are also glimpses into our collective future. Whatever we used to do, we will do again. I’m not sure when, but we’ll get there.

Be safe, friends.

Everyone okay out there?

One of the gifts of this pandemic is seeing “influencers” being replaced by hilarious TikTok videos. People need to laugh. Overly-edited selfies of girls on boats feels tone deaf at the moment.

Right now, the country is fighting for social justice, and rallying against an increasingly fascist White House. Influencers, already teetering on shaky ground for the shameless pursuit of followers and fame, seem out of place in today’s America.

Let’s put a hold on diet teas that cause gastrointestinal disasters. It’s not as fun watching high-end make-up tutorials when, if you aren’t one of the 40 million who are unemployed, are likely working from home anyway.

Let this time be a refresh, to focus on things that enrich our lives. Things that make us happy, and things that make a difference.

There are hilarious memes dedicated to the slow descent into madness for 2020. But if my previous posts have told you anything, it’s that I’m fighting the negativity tooth and nail. Instead of feeling helpless about the state our country is in, I get up and go to Black Lives Mater protests. I sign petitions and I registered to vote by mail. I turn my grief into action.

I miss entertaining and traveling. But I’m using the extra time to brush up on home projects, because life is giving me the world’s longest weekend. I built a slate fire pit and a curving, slate sidewalk leading up to it. I wallpapered the stair risers. I explored new parks with my six year-old and was able to binge watch everything in my queue. Highly recommended: Fleabag.

Here are some other things you can do to make the most of the current situation:

When life hands you peaches…. Get outside for fresh air in an orchard and pick them. It’s perfect for social distancing. If you don’t live near a farm where you can pick your own, hit up the market. Peaches will never be more juicy or wallet-friendly than they are right now in season, and delicious things can be made with them.

The same goes for tomatoes!

The kids need to have a little fun too. Integrate literature and food by making real-life green eggs and ham!

This winter, when news of the pandemic hit, it was nature that saved us. As if sensing our pain, she saved us from sleet and frigid temperatures. Like magic, winter was mild and spring came early, allowing us to get outside. My husband took up fishing, and with it, the exploration of unvisited state parks and local fishing spots. It meant days in the sun, leisurely picnics and fresh fish! Nothing beats my husband’s fried bass with Thai chili and tamarind sauce. Nothing.

Most pools are closed, but it isn’t the only way to make a splash. Research the best places to take a dip, whether an old quarry or local lake. If you’re not land-locked, get to the coast. Well and Good even has a guide that lists the best natural places to swim in every state. To make the most of it, go prepared. Pack river shoes to avoid broken glass or questionable surfaces. Bring water to stay hydrated. Come with friends, because there’s safety in numbers. Since you’ll be far from civilization, pack great food and stir up a fresh summer sangria. These will likely be the best days of your summer.

It’s true that the pandemic isn’t over, but neither is summer. This season can be fleeting, which is why we need to stop and savor the little things. Instead of frozen sugar water, get creative with homemade popsicles. Arnold Palmer, strawberry and basil and cappuccino are among the surprising flavor combinations. Have fun with it!

Perhaps most importantly, don’t let helplessness take over. It’s easy during a pandemic to feel down, especially with the relentless news cycle spitting out one treacherous act after another. It’s healthy to shut it out in small doses, but be sure to stay informed. The only way to beat helplessness is to be part of the solution. Register to vote by mail, march with protesters for Black Lives Matter, sign petitions fighting against corrupt government practices, then rest and regroup as needed.

Blink and it will be fall. There will new things to look forward to. Until then, take care of yourself.